Our orientation toward life is reflected in our inner mirror. Our projections are a clue to that orientation.
Projections are an expression of what is inside of you. Whatever you project out and on others is a reflection of one part of your inner self. It is a lot like when you see your reflection in a mirror. The projection mirror reflects the judgments and labels you carry in your debris.
There are different kinds of projections:
Conclusion projections are when you take your past experiences and project them on someone. You assume that they will behave in the same way that you behaved in the past.
Debris projections are when you project something from your own debris on someone else.
Belief projections are when you expect people to have the same standards or beliefs that you do. Have you ever believed that just because you were honest, everyone else should be honest? Do you believe that people should keep their word or that they should be on time for an appointment? These are all belief projections.
I used to be devastated when people didn’t mirror my belief projections back to me. When they didn’t believe what I thought they should believe, it was a huge disappointment.
But that is ridiculous, right?
Projections are like expectations. You aren’t satisfied with setting these expectations for yourself, you feel that you must project them onto others. Then you are disappointed when they don’t meet them. Sometimes that can turn you into a superior bitch, as you point out all the ways people in a group are not meeting the standards you have set for yourself.
Projections can be assumptions. I had a friend who had a lot of drama in her life. She told me that she was ok with it. I had assumed that drama would make her unhappy because of who I thought she was and also because I don’t like drama. I assumed if I didn’t like drama, she wouldn’t either. After all, we were friends, right?
If someone projects their expectations on you, it doesn’t mean you have to meet them. I love it when people are exactly who they are.. They show up as themselves, in every situation and they don’t change themselves to meet someone else’s projection. They aren’t afraid to say – I’m not going to pretend to change for you.
Projection creates separation. When you project your beliefs you assume that your beliefs are correct. You are assuming that they are the right ones. As soon as you start assigning the values of right and wrong to something, there is judgment, which creates separation. Saying “my version of God is more right than yours” is a projection. We all see what kind of separation that projection creates in the world today.
I am entertained by the extremes that people will go to when they try to validate that their projection is real and right for everyone. It’s exhausting and is the recipe for misery, as you will never succeed in persuading everyone that your way is the only right way.
It is interesting to watch a group of people toss their projections onto each other.
The more projections that float around the room, the more it can reveal about what they are trying to distract themselves from. It can be hysterical to see the extent that people will go to avoid seeing the elephant in the room, let alone see the shit it just dropped.
If you notice that projection is coming up and you feel that you want to make someone wrong, pause and take a moment. Before you go into the trauma and drama, realize that it’s all about you.
This is a yield sign. Wanting to make it wrong is a clue.
When the urge to make someone wrong comes up in a relationship that you want to nurture, recognize that something else is going on. Get off your auto pilot and get curious. The real story is not about them, it’s always about your debris. Don’t go into judgment of yourself or of the other person. That will create separation in your relationship. It can also separate you from yourself when you make yourself wrong for what you did.
Are you going to judge the mirror of projection or are you going to allow it to be a messenger that reveals your debris?
This discussion is infused with the energy of Seducing Aliveness, where two inspiring hosts reveal some controversial ideas.