I received a compliment today from an online friend and instead of brushing it off and saying it’s not just me, I’m part of a team, I said thank you, I am happy to receive that sweet compliment with joy.

Receiving without trying to figure out how to reciprocate is something that I have been working on doing and I found that it helps to look at it through the eyes of the giver.  When someone graciously receives your gift it is as if you are giving a gift yourself.

There is a surface level of receiving and then a deeper part of it.

When we think of receiving, we often think about receiving a compliment, or a gift, or money.  We can also receive a helping hand, or the chance to make a new friend.

When you are operating at the surface level, you are shut down and you are blocking receiving.  A lot of people are not willing to ask for help or to receive help.  They use pride to block the possibility of receiving.

We use score-keeping in our social interactions.

Many people need to make if fair; when they receive, they instantly need to figure out how to give something back.

When you deepen into receiving, you allow simultaneous receiving and giving. Choosing to be vulnerable and asking for help is a way of giving.   By asking and being vulnerable, you give the other person the opportunity to give.  They also receive the communion that comes with a deeper relationship that your vulnerability invites.

I had an experience with this during an online workshop a few years ago.  A group of participants created a space of love and allowance that remains years later.  Their gentle prodding and encouragement brought each of us to the point where we boldly decided to let our writing breathe in public.  We are sharing that collaboration at Breathing Words.  (I’d love it if you go there and like the page.  You can find out more about what happens next.)

Receiving is allowing the dance with life to occur.

You don’t have to agree to receive. You can remain open to receiving even though you do not accept an offer. It is possible to say no, but thank you for offering. You may not be receiving what they are offering outright, but you could be receiving learning and insights from how the interaction occurs.  If you go into refusal energy, those subtle insights will not be available to you.

This often occurs when someone wants you to accept their point of view.  You can trust your inner authority and disagree.   You don’ t have to make their point of view wrong, you can refuse to accept it but remain in the openness of receiving.

We work so hard to refuse receiving and it often turns into drama.  Opening yourself up to the full allowance of receiving creates a vast space where anything can occur. True receiving is allowing the possibilities to come to you.

Allowance is the gateway to receiving.


This discussion is infused with the energy of Seducing Aliveness, where two inspiring hosts reveal some controversial ideas.